


Free

by zeropanka



Category: Original Work
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-25
Updated: 2020-11-25
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:14:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27710534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zeropanka/pseuds/zeropanka
Summary: Sometimes I don't feel like being here anymore.TW: Implied suicide





	Free

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this while listening to Wouldn't It Be Nice by the Beach Boys.

Looking below the peak always frightened me. 

All I saw was the vast expanse of water, 

but somehow it felt dark and endless. 

I was always scared, so I never tried going near the edge.

I stayed where I felt safe. 

Once I took a look at the pit below, I never dared to look below again. 

But, somehow, I found myself near the peak once again. 

I crossed the boundaries I had set for myself with the promise to never look below.

Which, I suppose, has been broken. 

What am I doing this for, exactly? Myself? Am I selfish for wanting the things that cross the line outside of what people should want?

I wouldn’t know; selfishness is subjective. 

My mind is always in a constant battle; I don’t know what to do anymore. 

It tells me this will make it all better, tells me that doing things such as these will make it stop.

The other tells me to consider other people, and I’m just being selfish.

I’ve always done that, constantly check on people to see if they’re okay.

It always made me happy knowing they were okay.

I don’t expect anything in return, them being okay was enough for me

Despite the constant battle, I never caved.

But as I looked below the peak, I felt a small feeling of regret for not caving sooner.

Looking below the peak gave me a sense of peace. 

No longer did I see nor feel the void; it looked and felt clear. 

It was reaching out for me, waiting for me. 

The moment of peace didn’t last long; I felt a flash of panic when I realized I lost my footing. 

I took in a deep breath, closed my eyes, and tried to feel the wind. 

I envisioned it as if it was a warm hug, holding me as if it never wanted to let go. 

I felt my eyes water 

I smiled, I am free

**Author's Note:**

> I like this format lol.


End file.
